Remi's Herald, vol. 002
Is it something inspiring to envision one’s future — or an endless spiral?
The Front Page
My future goals shift from time to time. Thoughts are always running through my head. I can never fully make up my mind about what to do next. I once heard someone say, “You don’t really need a job — what you need is a way to stay alive.” That got me thinking: what kind of life do I actually want to live?
I think I’ve always wanted to live off the grid. I imagine myself as an agricultural person—growing my own vegetables and fruits, living on a farm where I can take quiet strolls through the fields in the early morning or at dusk. Ideally, that farm would be near the sea, because the sound of waves calms me down like nothing else.
I’m approaching my big three-oh. And yes, I regret not having the guts to try working holidays when I was younger. These days, I think about taking a chance—working on NGO farms in Australia, learning how to care for animals and crops. Sometimes, the thing that holds you back isn’t other people; it’s the limitations you set for yourself. I admit, I’m all talk and no action. I’ve only planned a solo trip once, and it was nothing close to work exchange or farm help.
One important thing you need before embarking on any long journey abroad is good mental health, which, honestly, I don’t think I currently have. That brings me to explain why Remi’s Herald turned out to be a yearly magazine rather than a monthly one. I didn’t plan it that way. I just struggle with maintaining bonds. When I enter meaningful relationships, I want to handle them with care. And when it comes to creativity, depression and desperation tend to fuel mine the most. But if I dip too far into the low, I slump. I stop writing. I binge horror films and bl series, hoping the emotional chaos will trigger something in me.
The truth is: sometimes I spiral. I keep questioning what I truly want in life, because it feels so different from what those around me want. In my vision, I live alone in a small, secluded cabin. Inside, there’s nothing valuable—my belongings all packed in a huge travel backpack. There’s a garden out front, where I grow my own food. As much as I love animals, I don’t think I’d keep any. If I had to leave for a long journey, they’d miss me too much. But I imagine I’d still befriend the creatures living nearby. No car, just a bicycle—and my two legs. It’s better for the planet anyway.
But the more I think about this life, the more I want to just book a flight, escape this version of reality, and head to a farm with lush, green grass to start learning. Still, I ask myself: should we always stay in our comfort zones? Should we live day by day, settle down, find a partner, and grow old with them? That’s what everyone calls a simple life—but sometimes, that very simplicity makes me feel uneasy.
Le Coin Français
Mon étude du français n’a pas énormément progressé pendant neuf mois. J’ai arrêté de suivre les cours de l’Alliance Française en février parce que je n’avais plus le temps de revoir ce que j’avais appris. J’ai eu de la chance en découvrant deux séries : l’une est une série policière sur des crimes homicides, et l’autre est une adaptation d’un cuisinier célèbre de l’époque napoléonienne.
Editor’s Cut
This section showcases a stanza I’m particularly proud of from one of my poems written recently.
[Let’s Run Away]
you took the knife out, now i’m bleeding and saying i’m fine
you held my frail frame and kissed me, it was heavenly
i’d been waiting for so long, was it love, you said it was time
you’re here, there’s nothing better in this world, je t’aime
blood is pouring out from the wound, i smile, i’m alright
and i’ll die with you but don’t you ever dare to die on me
Book Nook
Another Summer has arrived. I spend my days waiting for something to happen. Something glorious, even something tragic. Nothing ever happens.
Sunburn by Chloe Michelle Howarth
I haven’t had much heart or energy to read anything really throughout the past few months, even though I set my Goodreads’ reading challenge at 100 books. Here are three books that I especially enjoyed.
Sunburn by Chloe Michelle Howarth ***** (i’ve never read a story that hit as personally as this one. it found me at the exact moment i needed it, echoing feelings i couldn’t quite put into words myself. it’s a book about how love and desire shift depending on where we are in life—how we grow out of our own ideals. there’s no grand resolution, no perfect person waiting at the end of the story. just the ache of what-could-have-been, and the quiet persistence of longing. reading it made me realise: maybe some stories aren’t meant to be tied up neatly, maybe some love lives on unfinished. sunburn is honest, subtle, and quietly devastating. it’s about youth, nostalgia, and what lingers after.)
Margo’s Got Money Troubles by Rufi Thorpe **** (this book is fierce, bold, and unlike anything i’ve read. margo’s story—navigating pregnancy, financial independence, and onlyfans as a young woman—refuses to follow any rulebook. her choices aren’t always safe, but they’re hers, and that’s the power of it. raised by a chaotic family and surrounded by judgment, she still refuses to apologise for how she survives. what got me most was the betrayal—when those closest to her tried to take her child because of how she earned a living. but instead of breaking, margo pushes forward, building a life entirely her own. it’s about self-ownership, resilience, and saying: i’ll live by my own rules, not yours. and honestly? i admire her for that.)
Locke & Key by Joe Hill and Gabriel Rodríguez ***** (i finally got my hands on the pandemonium volume of locke & key, and it felt like a long-awaited reward. i’d been meaning to dive into the graphic novels ever since i watched the series back in 2020. while the netflix adaptation was already impressive in its own right, the comics are darker, more twisted, and far more intense. the art is haunting, and the story digs deeper into the mythos and trauma that the show only hinted at. what i loved most was the way the plot threads were masterfully woven together—it’s creative, horrifying, and emotionally sharp. if you’re into dark fantasy or horror with real psychological weight, this series is it.)
Entertainment Update
My screentime has accumulated quite rapidly over the past few months. Behold, my proud results.
Dexter: Original Sin ***** (america’s favourite on-screen serial killer is back—but younger, and just as chilling. dexter: original sin takes us back to 1991, long before the blood slides and crime scenes, to show how dexter morgan became the darkly compelling antihero we know. patrick gibson plays young dexter with eerie precision, capturing his internal conflict, cold charm, and razor-sharp intellect. the pacing is tight, the tension builds steadily, and the writing honours the tone of the original series while carving a fresh path. for longtime fans, it’s a fascinating look at how harry’s code began shaping the monster within. for newcomers, it’s a solid crime drama on its own. personally, i liked it more than dexter: new blood. go watch it—you’ll be surprised how fast you’re hooked.)
Carême ***** (benjamin voisin shines in this lush historical drama about antonin carême, the world’s first celebrity chef. set during napoleon’s reign, the series explores ambition, power, and the fine line between art and politics. normally, i wouldn’t reach for historical shows, but carême is different—it’s visually stunning, emotionally layered, and surprisingly gripping. voisin plays the role with quiet intensity, and the food scenes are pure delight. if you’re a language learner, this one’s great for practising french listening comprehension. and if you’re a foodie, you’ll love how the show frames culinary creation as both art and rebellion. it’s a slow burn, but worth the savour. très délicieux.)
Astrid et Raphaëlle ***** (i’ve been looking for a french series to boost my listening skills, hoping to replicate how i picked up english as a teen. lou! was charming but too childish, and dix pour cent, though beloved by many, didn’t quite hook me. then i found astrid et raphaëlle, a crime procedural that immediately clicked. each episode unravels a case like csi, but with a uniquely french atmosphere. astrid, an autistic archivist, reminded me of the good doctor—and, honestly, a little of myself. it’s a smart, sincere series with thoughtful representation and strong emotional resonance. a hidden gem that feels quietly intimate.)
Companion **** (what begins as a quiet couples’ weekend quickly spirals into a high-concept, emotionally tense sci-fi thriller. companion explores the unsettling idea of loving someone who may not be human—and how far blindness to love can blur our perception. what struck me most was how the film plays with the idea of emotional dependency and autonomy. there’s a twist or two that will absolutely knock the wind out of you. the film walks the line between genre thriller and psychological drama with elegance. a bold, thought-provoking watch that’ll stay with you long after the credits roll.)
Loups-Garous **** (a family comedy that takes you into a board game? count me in. loups-garous is a playful fantasy romp where a modern family gets pulled into a medieval world full of mystery, magic, and of course—werewolves. based on the popular game the werewolves of millers hollow, it’s part jumanji, part time-travel adventure. the tone is light but engaging, and it’s packed with funny, chaotic moments perfect for a movie night. even if you don’t know the game, you’ll quickly get the idea and be along for the ride. it’s not trying to be deep—it’s fun, full stop. if you want something silly and sweet, this one’s a howling good time.)
Final Destination: Bloodlines **** (a must-watch for longtime final destination fans, bloodlines adds a fresh layer of lore with its multigenerational curse and retro premonition twist. the suspense is sharp, the deaths imaginative, and the pacing keeps you breathless. to read my full franchise ranking and thoughts, click here to visit my post.)
Music Picks
good songs that i’ve been grooving to:
dizzy by olly alexander
twilight zone by ariana grande
indigo by henry moodie
don’t let me go by tom odell
old phone by ed sheeran
mystical magical by benson boone
cool by michael clifford
all american tragedy by knox
ยืนยัน by triple.n
profil idéal by clio
what this could be by joe jonas
right behind you (run away) by jack harris
Photo Spread
these are from my little holiday at alishan national forest recreation area in chiayi county, taiwan.
The Animal Column
Myophonus insularis, also known as the Taiwan Whistling Thrush, is a striking bird native to Taiwan. It lives mostly in forested areas near rivers and streams, where its clear, flute-like calls echo through the trees. My parents and I were lucky enough to spot one right beside Elder Sister Lake at Mt. Ali—it hopped confidently along the path, completely unbothered by us.
In Focus
little things that make me appreciate life:
realising that once i step out of my comfort zone, i can actually reach for the stars
seeing that i have more love in me than some who claim they do
absorbing useless knowledge and proudly showcasing it for fun
The thing is, I don’t want my sadness to be othered from me just as I don’t want my happiness to be othered. They’re both mine. I made them, dammit.
— On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong
